Thursday, October 25, 2012

You Can be the Wife of a Happier Hubby Continued & Speaking in Raleigh Tomorrow Night!

I told you in a blog just a few days ago, called "You Can be the Wife of a Happier Husband," that God is using our dog to teach me many good lessons lately! I want to be like our dog, Petey, who is so eager to greet Terry. I told you that I'm not in competition with my dog to greet my husband when he gets home—he's my role model.

Yesterday I noticed that not only is Petey eager to greet Terry when he hears him coming in, he is waiting for his return! He literally waits and watches for him. So you know what I'm going to do next? You betcha. I want to be waiting for Terry. I wanted to be watching for him to come home in anticipation. Look at Petey watching and waiting for Terry.
Petey looks rather stately while he waits! I doubt I'll be copying that lookbut the watching and waiting part I totally plan to do next!

If you have been reading the last few blogs on marriage lately, you know that I told you I had become complacent and lazy in my greetings and departures from my husband. After being convicted of this, I've been making a concentrated effort to stop what I'm doing when I hear that my husband is home, get up and go greet him. 

He arrived home yesterday late after a meeting while I was upstairs helping Mary with homework. (We live in a flood plain, and it is hard to hear the car pull up to the house because all of our houses near the creek have been built up high.) I immediately stopped when I heard him come in, and met him downstairs in the hall. We embraced, and we just kept our sustained hug for several minutes.

I can tell that he is really noticing my taking notice of him as he comes and goes! By God's grace, I'm going to keep this up because in my heart, I want Christ to know that as I serve my husbandI am doing it as unto Christ. It is not only drawing me nearer to Christit's drawing my husband and I nearer together. How have I missed this for so long? It's easy for us to take our husbands for granted, isn't it?

I've also been asking my husband to wake me and kiss me before he leaves at the crack of dawn for his exercise class. This can't be the same wife he had just a few short weeks ago, who said, "Can you be really quiet when you're leaving for exercise so I won't wake up yet? Could you get dressed in the bathroom?" So far, Terry has not fallen on the ground of a heart attack with his new wife's attentionbut I can tell he likes it! (not new as in we just got marriedwe have been married 31 yearsnew as in doing the new things the Lord is showing me)

We were at a dinner last night, and the woman sitting next to me asked how I spent my time (interesting—that's exactly what she said: "how I spent my time." Good question.). I paused and said, "Well, my husband has a lot of demanding responsibilities with work, family and friends, and I try to support him in whatever he needs help. I also spend time helping our children in various ways, mostly our youngest who is blind..."  I don't think I said much past that.

A month ago I would have led with, "Well, I try to blog everyday, get supper ready, help with homework, keep up with the laundry..." I still do those things, but asking God to really keep my husband first in my heart and actions.

Her question really helped me!!! Her question really made me think to myself what really are my priorities, not what I simply say they are. Do my activities and 
how I spend my time reflect that my husband is the most important relationship in my life? Am I treating him as I would Christ? 

Please don't let this post discourage you if you are just joining us. I make mistakes everyday!!! Just read my last marriage post how I didn't want to give my husband .5 seconds of my time to look at our bathroom cabinets when he asked me! Sounds ridiculously stupidbut sad to saythat really happened. 

That's why I blog to you. Not only does it keep me accountable, but I see Christ working right before my very eyes and I can't NOT share it. I know Christ is working in spite of all my mistakes and stupid things I say and do. I hope you find that encouraging, I sure do! I want to hear your stories!

Remember I told you yesterday that I had accidentally deleted this blog post after I wrote it the first time? Well, after I deleted it, I went to meet Terry at a frame shop to help him frame some prints for his office. We went to Sweet Tomatoes together afterward before we went two more places he wanted me to go with him. Our companionship is picking up in wonderful ways. More on companionship in upcoming blog. But there's one more thing about Petey that I wanted to tell you. 

When Terry got home yesterday, I came down to greet him, and I noticed Petey standing up on the bed outside right in the spot in the above picture. Only I couldn't see the front part of his body. All I could see was his tail, and you guessed it. He was wagging his tail like crazy. Now I've seen dogs wag their tails since I was a little girl and we got our first Basset Hound. Say it with me! "I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU HAPPY TO SEE YOU HAPPY TO SEE YOU HAPPY TO SEE YOU!!!"

Does our countenance say to our husbands on their reentry home, "I'm so genuinely happy to see you! There YOU are!!!! You're home!!!"

Or does our countenance say (or worse yet our tongues), "My day has been so hectic. I feel so stressed out. I need you to talk to me right now or I don't want you to talk to me right now because I am watching my favorite program or the faucet broke today and on the worst possible day because I was so stressed with all I had to do and the dentist said today that Johnny has to get braces and...")

Would you rather come home to the woman I just described or the doggy wagging his tail?

Wagging Tail = Woman Whose Confidence & Joy is in the Lord Greeting her Husband

Now that's a woman a man wants to come home to. 

It may feel awkward at first if you have allowed your husband to come and go with barely taking any notice of him. But look him in the eye and greet him and kiss him, and soon it will not be awkward anymore. Have the phone handy for any 911 calls that may be needed if you have been totally ignoring him and allowing other people/things to enjoy your attention over him!

This week, a friend told me that her husband works from home and he is always home first when she gets home from work. She told me she doesn't want to talk or do anything when she first gets home except get a snack and watch her favorite pre-recorded program. Let's call her Sue (not her name). I said, "Sue, why don't you start finding him first right when you get home?" 

I'm not sure if she is going to do it, and I don't think she reads the blog and knows a thing about what we're up to hereor should I say God is up to showing us how to make our husbands top prioritybut I'll let you know if she decides to give it a try and pay her hubby attention first! I'm thinking he'd be one happier husband, are you thinking that?

How about you?

Let me know how it's going! You go girlfriend! I'm praying for you (and me!). See you next time, lots more on this! And more on jumpstarting your marriage from author Nancy Cobb.

If you live in Raleigh, North Carolina, I'll be giving our marriage testimony on this Friday night (the story how I came to Christ and how God saved our marriage after a 2 year separation over 25 years ago!) Love for you and your hubby to join us! 

Friday, October 26, 7:00-9:00 (I come on around 8:15) 
But don't miss any of it, it is a great marriage date night;-) 

Capital Community Church Office
1001 Wade Ave
Raleigh, North Carolina 27605 

Walk by Faith,


  1. I have always greeted my husband with a kiss when he comes home , with that being said it has become a routine thing not something that I have tried to spruce up. I will admit some days I don't even comb my hair or dress in anything other than my sweat pants. As I say this my hair is combed but I'm in my sweats and my hair well its not fixed and is a mess. Thankyou for showing me that I need to perhaps spruce up a bit for when he arrives home. Confession he just pecks me on the lips and goes about his evening. I want him to at least acknowledge me please pray for me that I can do things for him cheerfully without acknowledgement and be okay with it!

    1. I absolutely will pray that you will serve your husband as unto the Lord. God notices! He is looking for wives who will be committed to their husbands! Keep loving on your husband as unto the Lord, Amanda! God is cheering you on every little thing you do for your husband!!! He sees it all. Keep it up, Sister!!!


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