Friday, November 9, 2012

My Notes From Nancy Cobb on Marriage

Just a couple weeks ago, I was able to go hear author Nancy Cobb speak on marriage. She was excellent, and I wanted to pass my notes along to you!

A. God's Job description for your marriage
     1. Invite Jesus into your marriage (John 2)  Show love, patience, friendliness (Don't talk bad about him in front of kids) Nancy shared with us that years ago she had run out of love for her husband. Her little girl came up to her one day and said, "Mama, I want you to divorce Daddy!" Nancy asked her daughter why she said that. Her little girl said, "Because he's SO loud!" Nancy quickly thought of a story to tell her. She said that daddy was like a big grizzly bear and his roar was loud. It was loud because if anything tried to harm it's little cubs that the daddy bear loved so much, he could roar really loud to scare away anything that tried to harm his precious cubs! The little girl replied, "I love my darling daddy!"
     2. Avoid the curse of Eve (Genesis 3:16) We read in Genesis that part of the curse after sin entered the world is that we would have pain in childbirth and  we would try to control our husbands. She said to learn not to try to control our husbands and argue with them, but to embrace the grace we have in Christ. She said if her husband fussed at her for not folding her pants the way he asked her to, she would say (graciously, not sarcastically)..."How would you like me to fold them?"  She said it takes two people to argue and that usually we naturally try to control them and we say something argumentative back, to which they say something, to which we say something back... and that is how arguments start. She said, what is he going to say if we simply say and mean it, "I'm sorry. How would you like me to fold them?" I can still see Nancy up at the podium saying, "What's he going to say if you  say that?"
     3. Live under grace. (Ephesians 5:24) God provides for the woman who is obedient to His word. Don't let your home be a place of arguments! Children do not feel secure when Mama and Daddy are always arguing. Talk friendly in the home to one another. 
     4. Remain sane and sober. (Titus 2:3-5) She said ask Jesus to help you to be sane and sober. She said she "use to be insane." She said combustible people will just blow up in front of people! She said that is why if you google how many men say my wife is driving me crazy, there are thousands of more hits that the other way around. She said if you feel like you are going to respond by blowing up, leave the room! She said you can also drive yourself crazy. (She said the amplified version of the Titus passage actually uses the word be "sane.")
     5. Be forgiving or God will come after you. (Matthew 18:21-35) In this Bible passage, the king comes after the man who was unforgiving! Nancy reminded us that happiness is a choice. She said many say they cannot forgive. What they mean is they won't! We can choose to forgive! You can choose to forgive and the feelings are not there, but they will catch up!

By the way, here are three books on my nightstand that I'm reading right now by Nancy Cobb. I'm blessed in that I believe my husband does listen to what I have to say (See the title of her 2nd book below), but I want to read to learn anything that Nancy has to say that I can pass on to you!):
She had a few more points that I will give you next time we meet back here. I do hope the blog is making a practical difference in your life. Have a great weekend and remember not to let reading the blog replace your being in a church on Sunday morning where Christ is lifted up! I love you dear friend!
Walk by Faith,

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