Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Letter from a Woman Not Happy with Husband's Behavior & Wednesday's LinkUp Party!



A reader asked me what to do when her Christian husband doesn't act like a Christian & participates in coarse joking, bad habits, etc. I thought others may have this question so here's my reply to her (assuming no harmful behaviors are involved): 

Dear XXXX, In acceptance lies peace (Amy Carmichael). Accept your husband just like he is. Your acceptance will give you peace which will benefit you, your husband and your marriage. Strive for unity in the marriage by focusing on your husband’s strengths, not what you don’t like (like his being around coarse joking at the office, not around Christians much, etc) I learned a wonderful prayer from Elisabeth Elliot (& I pray this to remind me that I have a treasure in my husband and the glass is half full, not half empty)… 

Here’s the prayer: Lord, you know my husband, his peculiarities, his ways, (I would add, “who he’s around and not around,” You know his habits Lord. Thank You for this man. I’ll take him. Now You work in him the changes You think need to be made. Amen.”

Remember dear sister that you are not the moral custodian of your husband. Your job is to be sweet to him, to love him, to be attentive to him, to help him, to be available for him, etc. Leave to God to make the changes He thinks needs to be done in your husband, not you. You can hold your head up high, because you are praising God for what He's given you by focusing on your husband's strengths. I am willing to bet that your husband has a lot of good traits. Don’t fall for the devil’s trap to think less of him because of two or three things that you don’t like. When those thoughts of discontent and dissatisfaction with your husband pop into your head, don’t let them settle there and build a nest. It is not a sin when a thought (like ungratefulness ) enters our minds, it is what we do with it. Make it captive to Christ and say back 3 wonderful traits of your husband. If we are not careful as wives, we will start to take on Eve’s traits of not being thankful for all God has given and we will fixate, whine, complain about what is not given. Focus on your part. Being the wife God is calling you to be. That’s a full time job, isn’t it?

 
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It's time for 
Wednesday's Prayer Girls & Link-Up Party!
Leave your prayer request in the comments  
& we will pray with you there

                             
Each Wednesday I like to offer to pray for your non-confidential prayer request or praise in the comment section below. Please enter a prayer if you would like me to pray for you (and pray for one another!) and I will be reading your prayer and lifting up your request as I read it, or if you just have a comment (click the word "COMMENT" located below my signature below, under the colorful social media sharing squares:-)
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If you're a Christian blogger, we all would love to see what you've been writing! Enter your blog link below to join the party! 
For readers, enjoy the blog party below! 
 
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I'd love to connect with you on your favorite spot:

You may follow my blog here or on Bloglovin'. 

It is my delight to pray for you! 
Remember, God desires us not only to be a believers, but to be wholehearted disciples of Jesus Christ! May we listen to Him daily through His word, and obey Him!
Walk by faith, 

15 comments:

  1. Excellent advice thank you. Thank you also for the link up. Have a great week. Blessings

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  2. Great post and advice, Juana! Thank you for sharing! Infinite blessings to you, Love! :-)

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    1. Hi Tai! Blessings to you too, Sister! Stay strong in grace!

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  3. We were able to spend some time with Libby and her Mom & Dad on Memorial Day, but it left me missing her more. It was like she didn't know us because it has been so long.
    Prayers of peace for me as I am feeling stressed about several things.

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    1. Let's pray Jana! Loving Lord, we thank you that the Hagans got to see their son, DIL, & Libby for the holiday weekend. We praise you and thank you for this little baby, and pray the Hagans can keep her soon for an extended time as the parents can take a break. I lift up Jana to you, and the stress she is feeling. Lord, give her Your peace, and she gives everything in her life to You. You have the whole world in Your hands, and we love You, Lord. In Christ's name, Amen.

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  4. I love that you encourage us to love our husbands right where they are, Juana, just like Jesus.
    Bless you!
    Dawn

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    1. Thank you Dawn! I was talking to myself, too!

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  5. What do you do when a harmful behavior is involved? My husband smokes marijuana. The kids don't know but he and I definitely do. It's caused huge strains in the marriage. I'm totally not for it! And I don't know what I'll do if our children were to find out. I don't want them seeing this type of example. What do I do?

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    1. Dear Anonymous, I am praying over your difficult situation and will write back to you right here soon after I have had time to think on it and pray. with love, Juana

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    2. Dear Anonymous, I have been praying for you, and prayed for you today with my friend whose husband is an alcoholic. We both think that you need to get support. There is great help available if you search your area for: Celebrate Recovery (by Rick Warren) or Alanon. Both would be a support for you, and can guide you with what to say to your husband. Perhaps a meeting (after you know you have support because this could be a long battle) when you are angry, and no pot is involved.. when you can tell him this behavior is unacceptable. Have you read the chapter in my book on tough love? I think my book can help give you strength. You may have to say, "If you choose to smoke pot and come home stoned, then that affects me and the children. I will go to my room if you come home after smoking marijuana. Or, I am not going to the party since you have been smoking pot.... then call your friend and tell them you cannot attend. But the support group will help you greatly with knowing what to do. We prayed for you today!! Love, Juana

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    3. I meant when you and he are NOT angry

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  6. I am beyond delighted to have found your website/blog. I just added a link to your party "A Very Special Young Man". Elisabeth Elliot is my hero. I have read many of her books, listened to her radio programs. What a woman of influence, how special that she is part of your life and been a mentor to you. I found you through another blogger who knew I enjoyed E. Elliot and found a video on you tube of your Mary singing to her. What a delight to hear Mary's beautiful voice singing like a bird. God has gifted her! Blessings to you dear Juana. ~ Abby

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    1. Good Morning, Abby! You have made my day. We both share a love for Elisabeth Elliot. Thank you for listening to Mary sing on YouTube, too! So happy to crossed paths:-) Thank you for linking up. Looking forward to reading your post.

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  7. Thank you for this lovely blog and the encouragement found within.
    I am asking prayer for my unsaved family members and for those who do know Christ to love the Word and desire to obey His will.
    Thank you,
    Shirley in Virginia

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